Tuesday, August 26, 2008

I Remember those nights I went to bed Hungry.....

.....all I ever ate was white rice and honey big dreams in my head, empty my tummy. might crack a smile but aint nuthn funny..... (Ghetto Story, Baby Cham & Alicia Keys)

Perfect example of inner city life. I have never felt that politicians could connect or identify with those of us who are familiar with or have grown up in that life (therefore how can they accurately represent and protect the things that are important to us and our future). Last night one woman changed all of that for me. I have watched this election and have loved it from the start. Yet I still did not feel any kind of intimate connection besides the fact that this was history in the making. Yes I was more proud than I have ever been and excited to share this with my son, but it did not crawl into my home/heart until Michelle Obamas brother came to introduce her. I was imidiately lured into kinship as he shared details of their life/relationship/childhood that reflected my own. The love, affection, devotion, and motivation for her spilled over as he began to describe how he felt about Barack as a person.

Lets just sidetrack for a minute......this country wanted to impeach a president because he was immoral. For all of those who continuously talk ish**** and say Michelle is too much in the forefront, how could she quit her job to support him and her fam etc WTH what do you people want. Here is a family who love and are there for eachother. They are openly affectionate and very family oriented. A strong family bond is essential to the success of the middle class people of this country.....TBC

Monday, August 25, 2008

Its Not YOU Its ME

Classic saying......non traditional meaning. This saying for me is a cop-out....although I do confess to using its logic. I purposely do not share that which is wrong with me. My excuse, I believe in positive reinforcement lol not concentrating on the negative of the past. I can express what it is I feel but not why. When it comes to myself I am such a control freak I do not like to surrender any of it. Knowledge is power especially with those close to you. They know all and how it will affect you.

Is maintaining a relationship possible in this mind state. Although I can easily converse get along etc I can not tell the truth/root about anything that hurts. Silence Sarcasm and Defiance comes easily. However the way they tell you to solve most problems IE when you say/do ****** I feel****** is so not going to work! One word can throw me all off and its extremely unfair to the person saying it cause I'm not telling exactly whats wrong. So in a way I can't be mad at them so nothing ever gets resolved. Or the emphasis is put on something else that might have pissed me off but not as much as the initial action.

My reasoning behind doing this is to stay safe. If people don't know what hurts you they can not purposely use that information against you. It also keeps you detached and in a way in control of if not your feelings then the way you respond to them.

Friday, August 22, 2008

why I love Obama

I received this via email and decided to post it because it needed to be shared. I love Obama because I am raising a Black Man....In life we are told we can do/be anything we put our minds to. However this is not something that we are always able to see or feel or believe. I never believed I could do "anything" I knew I couldnt be the president lol and now here is God proving me wrong. If I had seen this when I was younger maybe I would have made some different decisions in life....maybe I wouldnt. But I would have known rather than being told that the world was at my feet and I only had to step up and take it.

Much of my decision to relocate to the south stemmed from wanting my child to see people who where like him and were able to be successful and do something different. That entertainers and athletes were not the only "rich" people of color. That we can be teachers, news anchors, architects and a host of other things. Though I love where I am from I did not see these things growing up. There were not many upper middle class people who looked like me. When my family went to champagne brunch for holidays or whatever we were surrounded by people who were in the same economic position as us but not the same race or ethnicity. I like that when I take my son out here whether its fast food or fine dining we are surronded by affluent people of color. Who own homes, drive nice cars, live in nice neighborhoods, & are educated. I have always believed the saying why cluck with the chickens when you want to sore with the eagles.


A Black ManWhy is it that a Black Man can create a tiny piece called a filament (electric light - Lewis Latimer) that allows people to see in the dark? But can't be seen fit to lead a country to the true light.Why is it that a Black Man can crea te an instrument (clock - Benjamin Banneker) that all people use to tell time? But people don't think it is time for him to run a country.Why is it that a Black Man can design a place for the high authorities to meet in and a place for the president to live in (The Capital and the White House Phillip Reid (a slave) and Pierre L'Enfant)? But not good enough to lead these meetings or live in it himself.Why is it that a Black Man was brilliant enough to do the first o pen heart surgery (Dr. Daniel Hale Williams) and show the world how to get and preserve plasma (Dr. Charles Drew)? But not good enough to put a program in place where everyone can afford this surgery.Why is it that a Black Man was creative enough to design an instrument (traffic light - Garrett Morgan) to bring multiple people (traffic) to a halt? But not seen creative enough to design a plan to bring all this unnecessary and worthless fighting between countries.Why is it that a Black Man could create the soles (shoes - Jan Matzeliger) that people walk on every day? But not seen good enough to fill the shoes of a bad president.Why is it that a Black Man was smart enough and brave enough to teach himself (Fredrick Douglas and Thomas Fuller - both slaves) and others how to read, write and/or calculate math? But not seen smart enough and bold enough to calculate a platform to be President to a country that sure needs another first by us. My Brother and Sisters, let us not forgot our past, which led us to our present and can definitely be the backbone to our future. We were good enou gh, smart enough, creative enough, and bold enough then, so let us all not forget and give the Senator from Illinois the chance to show that we are still these things and more. We all are as strong as our weakest link, so do not be that weak link that denies your people that chance to show we still can OVERCOME AND BE THE FIRST!

quote of the day

***Love. Who knows about another's love? The more you love, the more you know the burnt out loss of love, the more you heed the silence of unknowing in the face of another's spiritual bondage.***

They say love is pain, but that is such a fractional analogy used to describe such a powerful state of being/mindset/feeling etc. Above is the first quote I have read that captures the magnitude of emotion that I relate to love. It tells why love is pain. As people we are afraid of the unknown, what lies in the hearts of man is DEFINITELY the unknown. Even the most assured are sometimes insecure. Not at the fault of the person whom you love but because you love them so much there is always the need for more. The need to see, show, tell, hear, & share. The more you love the greater the need. Love like christianity is based upon faith. Belief that the feeling is mutual will get you through anything. Doubt leads to constant mental and emotional turmoil.
Moral of the story.....save yourself some pain. If you love someone let them know as much as you can in every way you can.

? pondering


When I first asked myself this question it was in regards to relationships IE she (other) only got him because the (primary) she left him. I am now beginning to ask this question in other areas of my life. Is it ok to be accepting of the partial and mundane? Or is the quest for more chaising a wild goose dream? Better yet do you live to pretend in a make believe world. Seeing only what you want how you want because although its an illusion its the illusion of how you want to live. Reality is a bitch! People escape it in many different ways and then get mad when you see through the facade. When will everyone learn to be happy with themselves as they are? Or with what they have? Why does everything have to be in the extreme? Is there no balance for us in the world?
My theory is too many people do not know what they want! And if they do they are not willing to work to get it. Or they take the first thing running that looks kinda like what they want. I have learned in life that the road that looks the easiests is usually the hardest. Nothing worth having comes easy or free. I have seen people go from pauper to prince and vice versa. Some take it easy some take it hard. The people I love the most are the ones who take what they have no matter what it is and are content with it. Not saying to be accepting of anything. However God only gives you what you need the rest is up to you. Being realistic in life includes combining making do with what you have and working for what you don't. Minus the obbession with the bs in between.